


I Wouldn't Advise It

by ReotheLeo



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Also the underage is because well mentally theyre teens because of the program, Anxious Reader, Autistic Reader, F/M, Female Reader, Rating will probably rise to explict after a few chapters, Reader has a personality and history, add reader, adhd reader, also, and is p much a self insert but i do what i want lol, i am no better lol, i have no Beta, reader with PTSD, unbetad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:25:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReotheLeo/pseuds/ReotheLeo
Summary: Comfortable was something you understood logically– the concept was clear, concise.Comfort was also cold and foreign. In the way, as such, that you'd never felt comfortable before, and everyone who was supposed to be comfortable felt foreign andwrong.Comfort had become infected ever since... Well, ever since.But he– even in a paradise transformed into a hellscape, even when the fears you'd fought to label as fictional actualised before you, even then.He was comfortable.Not in the clinical manner, not in the definition you knew from the books you struggled to read. No, he was comfortable in a new way– with hugs that were warm, and words that weren't barbs.You just hoped that he wouldn't ask you to kill him.You're not sure you could tell him no.





	1. Setting the Scene

**Author's Note:**

> I had to ~~write~~ publish a Nagito self-insert _one_ day.

“Why’d you do it?”

As his name was called, the blond looked calm despite the finger Makoto had pointed in his direction.

“Why did I try, you mean?” If anyone could look colder than Byakuya, then it was this kid. He’d been the oldest in the class by a year— the difference in different hemispheres and their schooling systems leaving the intelligent teen frustrated. The Ultimate Hacker had as little patience for idiots as the sister he proclaimed irrational. “What does it matter; I didn’t succeed, did I?”

“No, I suppose not…”

“But you tried.” Kyouko pushed. “And perhaps understanding your reasoning will help us identify the actual killer.”

“Why should I?” The challenge was set, and silence carried through the courtroom.

“You just want to die, is that it?” Aoi stuttered, anxiety firing away her mouth. “Why else would—“

“No, that’s not it.” Makoto cut her off, eyes flickering around as he attempted to discover the truth. There had to be something that gave him away— he just had to find it.

Makoto scoured his memories of the Ultimate Hacker.

-x-x-x-

_“So, you’re the Ultimate Hacker, huh?” Makoto eyed the boy in front of him uneasily. He was older than the others in the hall, besides Yasuhiro, and his aloof attitude matched his title._

_“Yeah, what of it?” The blond’s accent would have given away his foreign nationality, if his hair hadn’t been a big enough clue alone._

_“I mean, I guess I didn’t expect that to be a talent… that would be… celebrated.” Makoto trailed off as blue eyes turned scathing._

_“How are computer skills less useful than singing or_ drama _skills?” The last talent in particular was addressed particularly harshly, and Makoto looked around the room._

_“The Ultimate Performer is here too?”_

_“No, she’s not.” Even sharper. Bitter. Frustrated, even. “I think I’d_ know _if my younger sister was here.”_

_“Oh, uh, sorry, I guess.” Makoto guessed an Ultimate Performer would be hard to miss._

-x-x-x-

_“Urgh, what a bad poster.” Makoto glanced up. The Ultimate Hacker was eyeing off the poster everyone else was doing their best to avoid so much as glancing at._

_Not that most of the men were succeeding._

_“I mean, I guess it’s a bit much. A bit e-exposed.”_

_“Not that.” A dismissive roll of his eyes quickly shut the attempted comment off. “It’s completely ignored the rule of thirds— I mean, seriously, what is this?”_

_A finger traced the horizon of the beach, ignoring the body that blocked the skyline halfway through. The finger then ran vertical down the poster twice._

_“Not to mention they placed her directly in the middle.” The boy huffed. “Tasteless.”_

-x-x-x-

_“This room is a mess.”_

_“You seem to know a bit about art,” Makoto addressed the Hacker. “Can you tell if anything obvious is missing?”_

_“Eh, I only know a little.” The blonde dismissed, waving his hand flippantly. “Not enough to know what isn't here that should be.”_

_“How do you know the techniques, then?” Hifumi pressed. “With a clear enough mind to critique a_ hot bod _too?”_

_“Was your sister interested in visual arts?” Makoto questioned. Performing arts classes still needed advertising posters, he supposed._

_“No,” the Hacker dismissed. “Visual art was the one art my younger sister could_ never _get the hang of.”_

_“Now, enough talking.” The Hacker cut the conversation off. “Don’t we have an investigation to get to?”_

-x-x-x-

“How did you know about the poster?”

“What?” The Hacker seemed frustrated by the question, but Makoto could only feel the tendrils of success seeping into him as he watched blue eyes narrow.

“You said it yourself, your sister has no interest in visual art— and yet you know the rules well enough that it’s the first thing you look at in posters?”

“Clearly I lied about that, and my sister does have an interest in art.” The blonde rolled his eyes. “Lying is something that happens around here often enough, it shouldn’t surprise you.”

“Except that you don’t lie well.” Byakuya supported Makoto’s accusation. His tone was derisive. “You said it yourself— with your disabilities you can focus better on the truth in code, but the only lies you can tell are by omission.”

“Then _obvious_ I _didn’t_ lie about my younger sister disliking visual art.” The Hacker scowled around the circle. “Good lord, you guys just can’t make up your minds, can you?”

There was something there— something Makoto was missing. It was right there, in front of his eyes. He just had to review the information again…

“I’ve got it!”

“You never get tired of that action, do you?” The Hacker observed as Makoto pointed a finger in his direction.

“You have two sisters, don’t you?” Makoto accused.

“Oh yeah?” The Hacker rolled his eyes. “How’d you come to that conclusion, hmm?”

“You said your younger sister had never had an interest in art, and admitted yourself that you’d never studied it yourself, right?”

“No, I said I wanted to fly to the moon.” The deflections were getting worse, and Makoto could see what Byakuya had meant now. Sarcasm aside, there was a complete twisting of the Hacker’s features, a flinch as the denial dripped from his lips.

“So the only conclusion is that you have another sister!” Makoto continued, more assured of his stance. “I suppose you could have learned about it from a brother, too, but you just told us that your sister _did_ have an interest in art.”

“Urk.”

“So, do you?” Aoi questioned, hands trembling.

“Yeah, I do— but what does it matter?!” The Ultimate Hacker slammed his hands down on the podium, the biggest display of emotion anyone had seen from the teen. “Weren’t you trying to figure out why I’d kill someone? What does it matter how many siblings I have?”

Makoto didn’t have an answer to that.

“You’ve said a lot of harsh things about your younger sister.” Kyouko continued the line of questioning. “But we’ve never heard much about your other sister; and you don’t seem like one to keep your opinions to yourself.”

“So?”

“So your older sister is someone you want to protect.” Kyouko accused. “And thats why you want to get out so bad.”

“I’m almost impressed.” A broken laugh cracked through dry lips. “Almost.”

“Older… sister?” Aoi looked confused. “Why would you need to protect your older sibling?”

“Have you ever heard the saying third time's the charm?” The Hacker’s cackle was a little wet, now. “Well us three are living proof of that, y’know? You think _I’m_ unable to lie? My sister couldn’t tell a lie if it would save her life— and I don’t think she’d want to, either!”

“The Ultimate Advisor is the classic jack of all trades.” Blue eyes attempted to murder the court with their glare. “She can’t focus on one topic long enough to master it, and she can’t help but want to please everyone she comes across.”

“If despair is taking over the outside world, then I have to get out there.”

“She will either kill herself, or someone will do the job for her.”

“Her self worth depends on the praise of others.”

“Because she feels pain from everyone around her.”

“And wants to help everyone she can.”

“She’s helpless.”

“Harmless.”

“And needs a sharp mind to defend her.”

-x-x-x-

 _“Heck, it took both a Ultimate Hacker and a Ultimate Performer to shield her this long, and we didn’t even succeed._ ”


	2. Curiously Comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the game begins– literally.

The classroom was half full when you arrived, about eight students littered through the maze of desks. With your earphones in and playing a satisfactory white noise song, your senses could focus on the environment around you without the emotional voice in your head drowning the analysis out.

The world outside the windows seemed like an average day, not worth of much though, but the air in the classroom was surprisingly warm for the normal Japanese day. Perhaps it was all the people in the room, and the first day of school nerves, heating you up.

Yeah, that was probably it.

The room seemed stale despite the heat, though. Perhaps it was the over-analysis going on; you could see at least three other people eyeing you up— wait, was that a sword?

“Wooooow, is that a sword?!” Another student, a tall brunette, appeared to have caught the weapon in her sights at the same time as you. You didn’t recall seeing her in your first scan of the room, when you’d decided if you felt comfortable approaching anyone here, but it’s possible you hadn’t heard the door open. Two other people had turned up, too, and you hadn’t heard them arrive either.

None of them seemed like someone you’d be bold enough to approach, though; not without a deeper understanding of them, at least. So you supposed it didn’t matter much.

The girl now sitting at the desk next to you caught your eye in particular. She was fiddling with a PSP, but you couldn’t recognise the game in play. It was a old game, offline by download by the looks of it, and the characters were familiar— you’d seen them in a forum recently, you were pretty sure. Space Invaders like in design, by the look of it.

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

Your gaze drifted away from the screen, to another new resident of the room. He receiving a scolding from the woman with the sword, with his hands raise and a series of apologies falling like water from his lips.

There was a look on his face.

He looked… sad. It hurt your chest, and you sighed, gathering up your courage.

-x-x-x-

Chiaki watched as you rose to your feet. The timid exterior you possessed both clashed and matched database record. An abusive living condition prior to your arrival, spanning roughly three years in total, reduced the bright mind to a frantic mess at Hope’s Peak Academy— but it had crafted an undoubtedly kind character.

An easily manipulated one, too.

Though you and Komaeda had been in an established relationship prior to despair’s infection, her coding warned her to monitor the both of you regardless.

The pair of you were, perhaps, the second most volatile units present.

-x-x-x-

“H-hi, can I help you?” Your hand slipped from his sleeve to fiddle with your own, now that you’d successfully caught his attention. Your voice had never been the loudest— and you’d already attempted to catch his attention twice now, to be honest. “You just— you look sad? Almost, out of it? No, wait, that’s not it, uh…”

“Ah, no, not at all!” He was so tall… you pushed the drooling back in your mind. His face seemed a little brighter now, though.

That was good.

“You really should waste your concern on me— I’m sorry if I worried you!”

“Aaaah, I’m sorry, no, it’s fine—“ You stammered, and wanted to slap yourself— apologising for making him apologise didn’t make any sense at all. “Besides, you deserve concern the same as anyone else!”

“Ah, I suppose.” Ahand ran through messy hair, and you fought to keep the blush off your cheeks. Why had you started up this conversation again… he was comfortable to be around. “I guess I should introduce myself then— my name is Nagito Komaeda. You can just call me Nagito, if you want, since we're going to be classmates!”

Focusing on not blushing, you introduced yourself. Nagito… it felt comfortable.

That was very unusual, for you.

“What a lovely name— it’s not Japanese, though, right?”

“No, it’s, uh, Welsh.” You laughed, rubbing your cheek with one hand. You other had let your sleeve go, and was fiddling with the rim of your pant pockets. “My siblings also have British names— my brother has a Scottish one, and my sister an Irish one! Mum didn’t… like… her name… very much…”

Oh God, you were talking too much!

“That’s so cool!” Nagito beamed, and relief filtered into your chest. You risked a glance up at his eyes before returning your gaze to his shirt collar; he seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying. “I wish I had an interesting story about my own name— Nagito seems so bland in comparison.”

“Not at all!” You blurted out, frowning up at him. His eyes were really green, but you pushed that aside. “The intricacies of Japanese names often fall on the kanji associated, but your choices are all beautiful ones— with calm or harmony with the base, if I’m correct— and with the importance of names in the culture— like, I really wish my name meant something like that! Mum just chose abstract concepts for us, ‘cause she didn’t like her name meant ‘short’, but here names embody so much! And to have a name that seeks harmony from humility? That’s amazing!”

“Wow… you’re really pretty when you get fired up like that.”

Nagito seemed almost startled at his own words, based on the awkward chuckle that followed. Even you couldn’t fight the flush that spread to your cheeks, and you flapped your hands around awkwardly for a moment before covering your face with them.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I mean, that was really forward of me, and I suppose of you, but that’s okay, but also I’m sorry, um—“

“I don’t mind at all, especially if you don’t mind me.” Self depreciating again, and you frowned up at him. Nagito seemed like he actually caught your reprehending intention, as he ran his hand through his hair again shamefully. “You’re the Ultimate Advisor, right? It’s so amazing how you can retain that much knowledge— I’m pretty sure my brain would explode if I knew half as much as you do.”

“Ah, no, not really…” Two faces ran through your mind, and your hands dropped back to your sides. There was a catch, your thumbnail hitting a skin tag on your palm as you fidgeted. “Being okay at everything’s great, but being really good at something in particular— now that takes time and dedication!” You grin up at him, meeting his eyes for a split second before focusing on his earlobe instead. “Like, my siblings, they put so much effort into their discipline! I wish I could stick to one thing for that long, y’know?”

“You must really love them.” Nagito had looked a little frustrated when you’d brushed off his comment, by the clenching of his fist, but you’d seen his entire arm relax as you’d explained your reasoning. “I’m still pretty envious of your ability, and I bet they’re proud of you too!”

“I hope so, and thank you— I’m pretty sure your talent’s gotta be pretty awesome too!”

The expression that had pulled you over leeched back into his face, and you watched in your peripheral as his eyes tightened and glanced down to the floor.

“Not really— luck isn’t really a skill at all.”

“Wow!” Your excitement wasn’t just for show (not that you could lie to begin with), and your enthusiasm exploded in your body— a little hop and clap of your hand transforming the darkness to curiosity. “You’re the Ultimate Luck? That is so cool!! Like, being average at everything is one thing, but knowing that everything will turn out alright in time? Knowing that even if things go astray, an outcome for good will be assured so long as you try your best? That— that is a _talent_ for _sure_!”

“You’re far to kind to me,” Nagito shook his head, but the smile and blush were back on his face, and that warmed your heart. Good— he deserved to feel good about himself. Everyone did, but him especially; he put you at ease without even trying. That was usually a sign of a good person, in your history. “Being lucky is hardly a skill that can be honed.”

“But neither is being adequate at everything, nor is—“ You scrambled for an alumnus fitting the criteria. “Nor is being a Ultimate Beauty, y’know?”

“I suppose you’re not wrong,” You got the impression he was just pleasing you, but you just felt relief— refusing to accept it consciously or not, you’d brought a smile to his face and a light to his eyes. That was enough for you. For now.

“I may not be good at a lot, but I do know a lot,” You grinned, and felt a small victory inside as he smiled back at you. This was the most you’d met someone’s gaze in a long time, and he didn’t seem scared or annoyed by it either. “And I know that you deserve to be here as much as I do, if not as much as anyone else.”

“It’s a bit hard to believe, I suppose.” Nagito brushed it off again, and you nodded. This pattern was normal for you, in a way.

“The truth often is.”

-x-x-x-

Nagito Komaeda didn’t know what to make of you. You’d been shy and cautious when you’d approached him, and the tugging at his sleeve had made him realise the shy calling drowned by the scolding he was getting wasn’t, in fact, all in his head. When you refused to met his eyes, despite initiating the conversation, he slowly dissected your character. Shy, needlessly insecure, and enjoyed talking about yourself.

You were a weaker hope, but an Ultimate nonetheless.

This was how he’d labelled you, right up until he broke through the mask. The cracks broke the surface that had been straining, and the pieces fell away as your outburst broke through.

Such a strong hope for the future, for humanity, and for the world around you. Believing the best in even him, even the useless pawn provided to your set. Even the dispensable piece had a value in the future in your eyes, and—

Nagito would be lying if he said, later on, that was the first thing he loved about you.

Your compassion for your siblings was obvious now— he realised that you’d been talking about them, not you before, and he…

He had hope.

For a split second there, he had hope; hope that he was worth something. Nagito quickly corrected that fantasy in his head, of course, but he marked your potential much higher than he’d first assumed. To be able to give even him, even a worthless human like himself, a delusion of grander—

But you were so breakable.

Nagito could see it, in your trembling arms and fidgeting hands. In the scars on your hands, broken before they could be healed by restless nerves. Nagito could understand, now, the aged phrase.

The higher the tower, the greater the fall.

Nagito vowed he would protect this tower with his life.

Perhaps, then, he would have some value.


	3. Incoherent Identities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we learn a little more!
> 
> Edit; went through and checked out some errors I'd made -salutes- there should be a new chapter soon, don't you worry~! I haven't love Nagito this long to leave him in the dust lol.

“Um, I don’t really want to leave him here by himself…” As per usual, most people didn’t hear your whisper. Those who did rolled their eyes— actually, wait, no. Only Togami rolled his eyes. Tanaka narrowed his eyes at you, and Nagito nodded his head in agreement. It was the vocal support for your comment, though, that shook you the most.

“I agree with her— it would be unkind to leave our last classmate unattended.” Nidai proclaimed loudly, and you ignored the hushed whispers questioning who the coach was talking about. “Exploring the island is important, but so is looking out for one another!”

“Do what you want.” Togami dismissed, turning his back on the group.

“I’ll stick with him,” Nagito laughed self depreciatingly. “I don’t know what use I’ll be out there, after all.”

“Hey, that’s not true…” You mumbled, but grinned up at Nagito shyly. “But I’ll stay back with you, if you like?”

“Well, hey, you don’t have to— I’m sure you’d be of more use than me out there!”

“Aaaah, I wouldn’t say that… at all, really.”

“God, can you two get any more frustrating?” Kuzuryu scolded. “I’m leaving.”

Embarrassment flushed through your system, and your hands flew up to your elbows to tug as a loose thread. You were overheating, and you could feel the eyes on your head. You unbuttoned your sweater, thankful for your instinctive layering.

Letting the sides go, the breeze did a good enough job at cooling you down as the rest of the class slowly filtered away. A few of them sent glances back at Nagito and you as they left, but no one said anything at all.

Trying to drown out the self-depreciating voice in the back of your head, you analysed the beach that had housed the classroom box… which had completely disappeared at some point, too.

That was weird.

The island was clearly a tropical one, with palm trees on the beach and evergreens lining the sand’s edge. Colourful birds suggested a prominence of smaller size predators, dependant on venom and ambush hunting tactics. You had a feeling you’d be having a shitty time with the bugs on the island; with the humidity from the beach alone, this place was a miniature creature’s paradise.

“You really don’t have to stick around, if you don’t want to.” Nagito’s comment turned your wandering gaze back to him. That look was back, and you didn’t know how you knew it as a look— you’d never been good at reading people at all, but Nagito?

Nagito was… comfortable.

“I really want to though?” You weren’t comfortable with a lot of things, and you were terrible at letting things go. You weren’t about to leave what little of a safety zone you had on this island. “I don’t know, I guess, if I’m bothering you—“

“I have a feeling we’ll be visiting this conversation a lot!” Nagito’s laugh wasn’t a mean one; that was a relief.

“Sorry.” Your smile was automatic, as was the motion of meeting his eyes as well. This was weird, in a good way. Glancing away as the voice grew louder again, your fainted classmate caught your eye. The frown that followed was also automatic. “Do… you think he’s okay?”

If you’d looked up at him again, you would have seen the strange look that passed over Nagito’s features. As it was, you were too busy recalling the strategies for identifying and dealing with concussions. The school uniform stretched as you squatted down to check for bruising, but your self-conscious thoughts (‘ _remember that post, where people made fun of others whose buttcrack were showing— should you pull down your sweater further?_ ’) were covered by Nagito’s question.

“Are you sure you’re an Ultimate?”

‘ _Are you sure she’s not an Ultimate?’_

_‘We’ll test again, since both of the others have been accepted.’_

“You’re not like the others, but you’re not like me either.” Nagito continued. His questions didn’t seem to be scathing, but you withered under the doubts anyway.

“I guess I am.” There was no blood on… what was his name again? That information had been marked as irrelevant. Either way, there was no blood on his head; that didn’t mean he _didn’t_ have a concussion, but the probability was lower. “I mean, they had to test me twice before they found my talent— but they was sure it was there? I think?”

Maybe they’d just been trying to please your parents, keep them quiet?

No, dad wouldn’t accept a lie. He’d see it as wasteful.

“That makes sense— you’re a lot less confident than most Ultimates.” The words were harsh alone, but… you didn’t sense any actual negativity in the statement. “Your talent seems quiet— but I suppose the subtleties of an advisor would be hard to detect.”

“Yeah, anything would be hard to detect under _my_ comprehension.” You clap your hands over your mouth seconds after the dismissive snort left it, flushing bright red. “Ah, sorry, that was… not very gracious?”

Why were you apologising again?

“Why’re you apologising to trash like me?” Nagito repeated your thoughts, though he added on a bit you were quick to attempt to debate. Nagito quickly steamrolled over your protest, though, with a continued thought. “You’re welcome to say anything you want to me; I’m interested to hear anything you have to say.”

No one cared about half the things you had to say.

‘ _And then—I’m rambling again, aren’t I?_

_Yeah, again._

_Sorry, I’m done— how did today’s experiment go?’_

“Was your comprehension why they had to test you twice? How did they not pick up on it the first time?” Nagito seemed genuinely interested, actually curious, though. “I mean, your knowledge is obvious whenever anyone actually listens to you.”

Yeah, you talked too much. That was what everyone else meant when they said things like that. There weren’t any bumps on the back of the brunette’s head either, but you rolled him over onto his side anyway.

Just in case.

“I mean, I talk about a lot, and know a lot I guess.” You shrugged, repositioning your classmate’s limbs. Bend the knee and elbow, and… “But I didn’t know _enough_ to pass any of their tests the first time. My family are all Ultimates, y’know? Mum and dad, and then both my younger siblings.”

“That sounds about right,” Nagito nodded along, and you felt relief. People always got defensive when you talking about the other’s talents— bragging, they’d mutter behind your back. You just— you were so proud.

“My brother got in first— he’s lazy, but his skill and enthusiasm with computers was undeniable, even with our disability. He was an Ultimate Hacker from day one, y’know? And my sister— third time’s the charm, and all, and God could she perform!”

“They sound amazing—“ You flinched at Nagito’s voice at first, but relaxed as the emotion appeared clear of negativity. Sand pushed up against your foot, and turning to the side you realised Nagito had settled down beside you. Quickly, you settled down into a mirrored crossed legged position; minimise how much of your body was exposed to minimise body scent. Asians had smaller sweat glands, if you remembered correctly— and their deodorant wasn’t at the strength you needed.

Importing it was expensive.

“Yeah, I’m so proud of them!!” Joy swelled in your lungs, bubbling laughter out of your mouth as you remembered their acceptance letters arriving. “They deserved it, y’know? Mum and dad, too— to have two successful children!”

“But you’re an Ultimate too.” Nagito’s tone was curious, and the sand shifted again with movement. “And you’re full of such hope too— how did they miss something so wonderful?”

“See, we’d found my brother’s autism a month before.” You laughed, and if it was a little bitter, Nagito didn’t comment. “Then they realised I had everything he had to a higher degree— so they got the academy to retest me. It’s funny, y’know— my general knowledge was literally off the charts. But in a more comprehensive testing, they found that my comprehension was that of a ten year old kid.”

“That’s weird.” Another pair of green eyes were looking at you now. Your unconscious classmate had awoken.

“Ah— are you okay? How’s your vision— are you seeing double, or dizzy or anything?” The concussion checklist flicked to the front of your mind. Concern smothered any other thought present, including the shrivelling panic his comment produced. “Do you feel nauseous at all?”

“I’m fine,” The brunette had rolled over at some point, and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. When you went to flinch back, you found a hand pressed against the small of your back.

It was comforting for something so unexpected.

“Are you sure—“

“Where are we, anyway?” The brunette cut of your question, though he didn’t seem to have done it on purpose. “Was that all a dream?”

Nagito kept his arm wrapped around you as he walked Hinata, as you now knew him, through the reality of the situation.

It was comforting.

-x-x-x-

Hajime didn’t seem very eager to begin wandering around the island like everyone else. Rather, once he’d finished talking with Nagito for the moment, Hajime turned his attention to investigating the student handbook.

You pressed closer to Nagito subconsciously as the silence began to stretch, and it wasn’t until the arm wrapped around you squeezed you closer that you consciously registered the situation you were in. The position you were in.

“Uh,” As awkward and as sweaty as you felt, you didn’t pull away from the comforting embrace. Which was weird— the comfort, not the hug itself. You’d never been comfortable enough to let other’s touch you, before— even your parents were a bit of a struggle to accept. Despite this, as you tried to strike up a conversation, you kept your body still, where it was. “I guess we’re just going to follow him around the island then?”

“Might as well,” Nagito’s eyes had a weird glint to them— something that send a shiver down your spine. It felt like the eyes of a waiting predator, and you were thankful they were directed at the boy flicking through the electronic book in his hands, rather than on your own anxiously fidgeting soul. As if sensing your apprehension, though, Nagito crooked a smile down at you with a side, smiling glance. “After all, we don’t know where everyone else has looked.”

“To be fair, I don’t think anyone knows where anyone else has gone.” You giggled, remembering the chaotic departure of your classmates. “We’re still all learning how to work together, after all.”

“That’s true.” Nagito contemplated your words with a soft hum before agreeing with you. The arm around you provided another comforting squeeze, setting your heart fluttering even faster; something you hadn’t thought was possible, to be honest.

“You seem weary of him.” You tilted your head over in Hajime’s direction. Nagito seemed startled at your summation, and as he turned his face to peer down at you fully, you felt your cheeks heat up. Flustered, you hand flurried up to flap around before you, a mix of expressive and stimulating motions. “I-I mean, maybe I’m reading it wrong— maybe there’s something in the handbook about him? I haven’t read it yet, I mean—“

“No, I haven’t either.” Nagito’s tone wasn’t reprimanding, and the lanky limb looped over your shoulders snaked out to grasp one of your shivering shaking palms. “I just don’t remember finding anything about him in my research before school began.”

You really wished your hand wasn’t so wet.

“Ah,” If your exhale was a little shaky, Nagito gracefully didn’t indicate he’d noticed. “That… does actually make a lot of sense.”

Now you both were frowning, contemplating the brunet issue before the pair of you. Even less savoury roles, like the Ultimate Hacker and the Ultimate Imposter, got press preceding their admittance to Hopes Peak— even if the actual year and details of their enrolment remained foggy at best.

It would have made sense if Hajime was the Ultimate Luck, but that was Nagito. You were about to flip open your handbook but, as the idea crossed your mind, Hajime flipped his own guide close. Slipping a smile onto your face, and falling back to let Nagito and Hajime converse, you made a mental note to remember to look at the notepad later.


	4. Precious Pets

Nagito seemed as happy as you were to let Hajime guide the three of you around the island. You found it curious at first, but as the pair of you trailed after Hajime, the decision slowly began to make sense. Nagito hadn’t taken his eyes off Hinata as the three of you wandered towards the area titled ‘ranch’ on the map— observing the boy’s behaviour, trying to find clues and details that could shed some light on the amnesiac’s Ultimate talent.

Information you were sure your brain wouldn’t decipher until years later.

Good at storing information, you were— but figuring that shit out? Nah, not your strongest point.

It took a lot of self-control, however, not to slave over figuring it out alongside Nagito. While you weren’t _sure_ he would tell you if you asked about his deductions later, there was very little point wearing yourself out over the mystery. Especially since Nagito _was_ , in fact, trying to figure it out— he was bright, and you didn’t think he’d withhold information that could needlessly endanger everyone here.

Not if it would hurt the Ultimates here, if you were correct on your assumption of his value of his classmates.

Your classmates.

Instead, you turned your attention towards the little pet app hidden away in your e-handbook. Nagito and Hajime seemed to have disregarded the tiny thing as soon as they’d learned about it, but you…

You found it calming, watching the little numbers count down, one by one, with every step you took. It was a small relief to the panic that came with the absurd situation you’d all found yourselves in, but you had to cherish it for what it was. There would be little other comfort, you suspected, until you became more familiar with your new and strange surroundings. 

Well, little other comfort than the boy who had still had an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

The blind guidance to your distracted brain was a comfort, certainly, but… you weren’t sure how to describe it. Tossing around adjectives in your mind, you settled on bittersweet as the closest comparison to the double-edged sword (or, well, pillow) that was Nagito’s presence.

To be this comfortable with someone, so quickly and so easily, set your paranoid mind on edge— this wasn’t what should happen, and it was dangerous to be this open, this friendly, with anyone. But, then, you had very little to be comfortable with, on the island, and… well, it was like whenever you got a pet.

Giggling, you pressed the clean button on the egg’s screen; a pointless endeavour, as no digital poo had yet to pile up in the pixel toilet bowl.

Whenever you got a cat, it felt like you’d already known them for a lifetime. Whenever you got a dog, it felt like you were welcoming someone who already loved you without limitations back into your world. When you met Nagito, it felt like you were homing home, even when home had never felt safe to begin with.

The difference being that Nagito was, in fact, a fully functioning, sentient being— fully capable of betraying you.

The thought sent a small frown on your face, and you clicked out of the pet app.

As you all stepped into the ranch, all your e-handbooks went off with a chime. When you reopened the pet app again, the little egg had hatched into a cute little rabbit. The title on the poster on the wall read ‘Chibimi’, and you couldn’t help but giggle as you compared the small pet to the plushie that was Usami.

So cute.

Looking up at Usami as she chatted with Nagito and Hajime, you felt your smile drop a little again. Maybe, if she was like the pet in the program, she could answer some simpler questions about—

‘ _Okay, maybe not._ ’ You felt your eyes widen as Usami waved her magic stick… and turned a chicken into a cow. ‘ _Maybe… I’ll leave the questioning to someone else._ ’

It wouldn’t do to waste her patience on silly questions like your own, after all. Someone else, who was better at gleaning and squirrelling out information, would be better of doing it.

Watching Saionji and her terrifying mannerisms, you decided not to question your comfort with Nagito further. Instead, you shot him a soft smile as you slowly placed him between the Ultimate Traditional Dancer and yourself. No, you’d let him dissect the issue further— and if it was just you who was feeling weird, then it was probably a side effect of something in your brain.

Rather than there being something weird about the situation. 

Okay, weird _er_.

“You okay?” Nagito seemed to have finished talking with Saionji, and his expression seemed to be a bit more forced than before hand.

“Yeah, I guess… she just scares me a little?” You shrugged, trying not to dismiss his worry while still dismissing your unease. Uneasy was the usual situation, for you. “It’s nothing, really. I get scared a lot.”

Nagito hummed in consideration, but as you smiled up at him reassuringly, he seemed to accept your answer for what it was.

“You’re easy to read,” Nagito acknowledged. Whether his tone was accepting or suspicious, you weren’t sure, but you left that to him to declare. “I can understand why you’d be scared; honest vulnerability and bullies tend to be a bad mix.”

“Oh, don’t I know it.” Your laugh, though; that was bittersweet. Nagito frowned, though, and you felt bad for bringing that sadness back into his expression. “Ah, sorry, I shouldn’t—“

“Hey, it’s fine.” Nagito seemed to force a smile back onto his face, and you consoled yourself in the way this mask looked a little more natural than the one Saionji had crafted.

“No, it’s not.” A sigh rattled your chest, and you fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. “I’m working on letting it go, but sometimes I forget.”

“Can’t let it go if you don’t talk about it,” Nagito chided you, but he made no move to stop your stressful fidgeting. When you gathered enough nerve to glance back up at his face, it was a relief to see that, though still dark around the edges, the smile on his face was far more natural than the one he’d held only moments before.

“True,” You laughed a little, a soft few puffs of air. “But perhaps now is not the best time.”

“Perhaps not.” Nagito agreed, looking up as Hajime drew near once more. “But I do think we need to talk at some point.”

Those words were both reassuring and terrifying, all at once.


	5. Pitching Pendulums

“And you!” You squeaked as Tanaka span on his heel, pointing a hamster adorned finger straight in your face. Though you tried to hide behind Nagito once again, your shield provided little aid in this battle. Instead, with an amused smile, your taller classmate lifted his arm to leave you exposed to the enquiry. “To whom are you a mistress?”

To be fair to Nagito, though; it wasn’t really a battle you could loose.

“Uh, well, we’ve had several pets?” You shrugged shakily, recalling the interpretation to the question Nagito provided to Hajime. “My grandparents on both sides were cat and dog breeders, though separately, and we’ve had both cats and dogs, and birds and fishes, in the house.”

Tanaka rose and eyebrow, and the two hamsters cuddling close together on his shoulder drew your attention with a quiet squeak of conversation. They seemed to smile at you, when they noticed your gaze, and one even waved cheerily at you.

Unbeknownst to you, Tanaka gave a small nod of approval. Nagito couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face as his favourite Ultimate (and when had that happened?) built herself another friend.

“N-no hamsters, though, I’m afraid.” The admission came out as a stammer, and you retreated further behind Nagito. This time, though, he didn’t shift away, shielding you properly now that you’d answered the question.

“Hmm,” Tanaka’s tone wasn’t as aggressive, or half as dismissive, and his evaluation of Hinata’s hermit crab experience. “Though your cowardice and meek demeanour are indicative of a poor rating, your experience speaks of a soul unafraid of demanding dominance through a compassionate ruling hand.”

“Um, thank you…?” You wondered if Tanaka knew that half his speech sounded like he was talking about a kinky sex club. His Ultimate title, too.

“Though it disguises itself well, your Magic Essence is deceptively high!” With a boisterous laugh, the Ultimate Breeder nodded confidently as his mind drew to a conclusion. “I rate you a 35!”

It would probably be best if you _didn’t_ ask him.

“Is that a good score?” Nagito shrugged at your whispered question, but the smile on his face was one of genuine amusement. You found you didn’t care if it was good or not— not if it brought joy to Tanaka, and Nagito, as one.

Hajime, though…

Frowning down at the three question marks mocking you from the digital handbook, you found your concern continuing to tease your mind. He seemed very stressed by the current situation around you all, and while you could understand that…

You couldn’t understand the point of lingering on it, like he did.

Asking questions was all well and good, but when _nobody_ had any answers then, well, continuing to ask the question was! It was!

It was utterly ridiculous, and redundant, and pointless, and—

“Hey, are you okay?” Nagito tugged on your sleeve, shaking you out of your trance. Behind him, you caught a brief glimpse of Usami’s face before the television monitor flickered, once more, to reflective black. You could see the frown painted across your own face; the expression was contagious, it seemed.

“I,” You took a deep breath, stretching your lungs languidly, before letting a meek but genuine smile erase the frustration you’d been feeling. “I will be.”

“But you’re not now.” Nagito’s furrowed eyebrows spoke louder than his words, spoke more than his words. They questioned your every thought and concern; trying to solve what little mystery you kept hidden. It was nice, knowing that someone cared enough to listen when you _did_ speak— or was just curious enough to try and find everything you thought and said.

“Ah, I guess… I find the continuous exclamation’s of the situation’s wrongness a little… redundant?”

That was the best word you’d thought of; Nagito’s nod was understanding, and you felt a little glimmer of success. Another good choice on your behalf.

“But, well, I can understand the situation is stressful, too.” Explanations bubbled up within you, one after another, and you knew before you’d even finished the sentence that the next words would be longer than necessary. “I mean, it’s a ridiculous—“

“It’s okay.” Nagito, thankfully, cut you off. He nodded softly, pulling you closer for a comforting hug, before his expression scrunched up again with confusion. Why was that motion instinctual, natural? “I’m sure Hajime appreciates your patience, even if he doesn’t know it yet.”

“I hope so,” The feeling was a genuine one that nearly brought you to tears. “I don’t want to upset anyone further— they don’t deserve that right now. Or, well, ever.”

“Yeah…” The conversation trailed off as you both felt the situation dawn, once more, in your minds. Nagito, though, managed to shake it off first. He drew you back out of it, too, with a soft squeeze of your hand. “Well, I suppose we’d better go and regroup with the others.”

Hajime was already at the door, though he was waiting for you both… it was unusual. At least, it was unusual when compared to the bold way he’d led you all around the two islands. You supposed you didn’t really know him well enough to know what was, in fact, unusual for him.

“Yeah,” You smiled up at Nagito, squeezing his hand back. When it had slipped away from the hem of your sleeve and into your palm, you weren’t sure— but you didn’t mind the comforting grip, either way. “Let’s get going!”

-x-x-x-

“Wh… why?”

Nagito could feel the bad luck seeping through the park, peaking in the absolute fear tainting your trembling voice. He’d been so relieved— you’d been so relieved— when Hajime had pushed his doubts aside. When he’d called out and wave at the group splashing along the shoreline— and then.

The tides had turned, and a disastrous show now played before you all as you stood, stunned to silence, in Jabberwock Park.

Nagito had wondered, briefly as the island revealed itself to his class, when the pendulum would swing back around. As you’d remained by his side, he’d wandered if the strange comfort he’d found in you _was_ the bad luck— a natural deceiver who could comfort even his innately paranoid senses. If he hadn’t known, before hand, that the Ultimate Advisor _was_ in this year’s class, he would have wondered if you were the Ultimate Imposter rumoured to be joining Hope’s Peak soon.

But no— Nagito let out a bittersweet laugh in his mind. No, you were definitely the hope you appeared— a good luck unlike any other.

And this— this black and white bear, with a contrast as clear as the many faces of luck— was the proof.

The bad to the good. The proof was in the pudding— and what a fine mud pie it was.

Nagito let his mind linger, for just a moment longer, on the way your breasts wrapped around his lanky limb. The warmth your body emitted, as you clung to his arm as though someone like _him_ could protect you from the horrors unfolding before you all.

Ha.

As if he could be that useful.

(But he could try. Nagito knew, without a doubt, that he would.

Try, that is.)


	6. Complicated Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we finally reach the first, really (half) intense conversation! Things only escalate from here, folks!

Sitting on your bed, you fought back a shiver as you drew the canopy’s curtains to a close, forcing the rest of the world out. Forcing the situation out. But, while the heavy fabric easily forced the camera and monitor out of your sight, escaping the knowledge of… of that was a lot harder.

Harder than closing the door; though you could drew closed the windows with thick curtains, that alone couldn’t hide the surveillance equipment laughing at you from above the bathroom door.

Harder than closing the curtains; when you fell back onto the pillows with a shaky sigh, a second, ceiling-mounted camera caught your eyes with a glint of light.

Harder than closing your eyes; for even when you tried to loose your sight, there was a knock on the door that drew a startled squeak from your lips.

“Who… oh yeah.” Rising to your feet once more, you hastily retrieved your jumper from where you’d sloppily discarded it on the couch. You opened the door hesitantly. “Hi, Nagito.”

“Hey,” Nagito, thankfully, didn’t try to act as though the world was full of sunshine and rainbows. Instead, he mirrored your meek smile back at you; a bittersweet acknowledgement that, while it was an undoubtedly comforting joy to see each other again, the world just… wasn’t in either your favours at the moment. “I can come back later, if you want, but…”

“No, come in.” Your anxiety jumped at the chance to delay the meeting, a literal frog bounding up to lodge itself in your throat, to halt the denial you ended up pushing forward despite it's best efforts. “If… if this evening’s anything to judge by, we’re better off not putting off anything.”

“Now, don’t loose hope,” Nagito teased half-heartedly, and you gave him the soft laugh he was looking for without a struggle. Nagito trailed a hand over your head, as you stepped back to let him him. Though the hand ruffling your hair was distracting, it wasn’t enough to let the marks escape your sight. Remnants of your fearful grasping hands, clutched tightly to his form as they had been, over the few hours before now. “Even through this, if you all work together, there’s nothing you can’t achieve. You’re all Ultimates, after all.”

“You too, silly.” You poked him as he passed, before raising from your tired slump against the wooden door to let it click shut into it’s frame. “One day I’ll get you to believe it.”

“Only a day in, and you already have so much faith in me.” Nagito shook his head in amusement, and you missed the way his eyes roamed around your room; examining it for all its differences when compared to his own. You found that your own eyes were glued to the soft quirking of his lips; a contrast to the sad slant to his eyes. You would remove the edge from them eventually, or, rather, soften them.

You hoped.

There was a moment, a quiet second, where you both stood there. You watching the way he tensed at his own words, at the unfamiliar familiarity. Him taking in your room, the way the tower of pillows pressed up against overflowing bookcases felt more like home than the room built to mirror his house.

“That…” Nagito paused, and you closed your eyes. Braced yourself. “Was what I wanted to talk about, actually.”

“It’s not just me, then.” Your hands were shaking; you hated confrontation an awful lot, but you loved open communication even more. Sighing, you shed your jumper once more, oblivious to the widening eyes watching your change in outfit.

“No.” Nagito seemed hesitant, reluctant to define exactly what his problem was. You would have pinned it down to a fear of vulnerability, but the same whisper under question murmured that he was waiting for comparisons’ sake.

He didn’t want to put the words in your mouth, to shape the idea in your head into the same shape as his. Not unnecessarily.

“I…” You stopped; how could you say this best?

Hesitantly, you took a seat on your bed again. This time, with the curtains open, you could see the way Nagito settled himself down in the mass of pillows on the floor. You could see him doing it three times over; two reflections and one reality. The pillows on your bed, coming up over your elbows when you sat on them, brushed soothingly against your skin. They were fluffy, soft— calming.

You picked up a spare one and pulled it onto your lap, crossing your legs around it and tucking your chin onto your arms. They lay, folded, on top of the puffy, stuffed cushion.

You wished you were holding his hand again.

“It feels like...” Nagito waited for you to verbalise it first. There was no impatience in his eyes, just intense curiosity, so you carried on.“Like… almost as if we were soulmates in a past life?”

Nagito hummed in consideration and, flustered by your own proposal more than his actual reaction, you floundered forward hastily.

“I mean, I know that sounds stupid, but it’s also— it’s the only way I can describe it? Like— it’s like, you’re comfortable, y’know? And, well, I’ve never been comfortable with _anyone_ before, not in anyway, and certainly not like this.” Your fingernail caught in a loose thread, and you had to stop clenching at the poor abused fabric in your hold to get the attacker out. It felt bad, and you winced as the sensation frayed your nerves. “It’s like— it’s like I know you, like I’ve known you for _ages_. You’re…”

You trailed off, unable to look at Nagito now that your words were out there, floating around the room like dense rainclouds.

“You’re safe, y’know?”

“That makes a lot of sense, actually.” Nagito’s words drew your courage forward again, in that strangely calming way you’d felt throughout the last twenty four hours. Your gaze drifted upwards, meeting an understanding, but serious look that had formed on Nagito’s face. His pupils were dilated, and his gaze was glassy, as he reflected on your words. “Anxiety aside, I think you hit the nail on the head; it’s as if we were soulmates in a past life, or something similar.”

Both of you blushed, heavily, at that. Again.

At the suggestion.

“But,” Nagito plowed on, determinedly. The soft frown on his face, too, brought your flustered mind back to a more grounded state. “Given that we don’t know why we’re here instead of at Hope’s Peak Academy, or even how we got here, even that suggestion doesn’t sound so unreasonable.”

“Reality does seem a bit surreal at the moment,” You agreed with a hum, and Nagito mirrored the tone back at you as he considered the situation at hand.

“Before… before Monokuma, I think I was happy to accept the idea of this being a school scheduled trip.” He confessed. “But now— that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.”

“No,” You agreed, and your heart sank to see those green eyes becoming murky once more. “Usami was a bit more believable, not—“ Nagito had raised an eyebrow at you, and you both smirked again. Bitter, but sweet. “—not in the way that what she said _was_ realistic, but in the way you _wanted_ to believe her.”

“Yeah,” Nagito seemed to be holding something back. You didn't know what, but the whisper did.

“There’s no point dwelling on it for too long tonight, though.” You tried to console him, flicking the corner of your pillow in a ceaseless fidgeting motion. “If tomorrow moves as fast as today did, or contains even  _half_ of what today did, we’d be wasting sleep fretting over answers to questions we won’t even have tomorrow.”

“That,” Nagito’s tone was abrupt, startling you with how hard it felt. When you flicked your gaze back over to him, Nagito was fixing you with another intense stare. His eyes were both mildly unfocused and perceptively precise as they pinned you down on the bed. “That is a perfect example of one question I hope to have answered by tomorrow night.”

For some reason, the concoction of immense suspicion and fond familiarity made tears well up in your eyes. You felt… over the moon with joy and terribly sad and alone all at once, but all that lead to was your head spinning in confusion as salt slowly streamed its way down your face. Nagito, as if in response, quickly began crying too.

Neither of you sobbed a single choked breath.

Instead, you stared at one another in baited breath. Unsure, and yet completely at ease, all at once.

“To be honest, though,” Nagito broke the tension with a laugh that was a little clogged, seizing in his throat halfway through. “It would be just my luck that we’d meet each other like this.”

The snort of laughter that broke through your chest was a relief, an ease of tension as it slowly corrupted Nagito alongside you.

Yeah, that _would_ be right.


	7. Sensual Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Went back and edited a small error or two as well-- golly gosh I hope we get everyone to the first name basis soon.
> 
> Had to do Sonia ASAP because GOD KNOWS I'M NOT TYPING NEVERMIND 50,000 TIMES HAHAHAHHAAaaaaa OTL
> 
> Also! As a heads up, we're working towards that E rating with this chapter-- not sure whether to knock it up properly yet or not, but yeah!
> 
> Just so y'all know~!!

“I love that look in your eyes,” Your voice sounded foreign to your ears, which was strange in and of itself. The vibrations, the resonation, of your own vocalisation as they ran through your brain— it was as if you were listening to it through a video, through a music player; you couldn’t feel a thing. But at the same time it was so _you_ , down to the bare foundations, that the source was undeniable. “Nothing in the world matters, and still you come back to me.”

Nagito consumed your vision as the other you flicked her head down from the ceiling. It was only then, as crazed, dazed eyes swam before you, that you became aware of the bobbing of your hips— of the solid warmth pumping in and out of you with every roll of your pelvis. You almost stilled at the thought, and if you had been more in control you might of, but—

“Both of you.” Instead the other you bent further down, pitching both your hips at a slightly different angle that drew a broken, pleased whimper from your hips.

You would be lying, however, if you said that you didn’t agree with the other you on her statement.

Nagito looked as though his mind had jumped off the cliff of insanity his hairstyle (attractively) portrayed, and the grin that split his face in two only sent more spikes of arousal down to clench your warm sex around his dick. A strange hand, that drew questions in your mind and deep comfort in your other self, rose to caress your skin.

You leaned against the silky soft palm with a giggle, and when that noise broke into a laugh, Nagito stuck several painted nails down your throat.

 

You awoke with a gasp, clutching your neck as ghostly scratches sent faux pain signals up to your brain.

What had you been dreaming about this time?

You couldn’t… quite… remember.

“Where…” You nearly hit the floor face first when you flew upright, overbalancing as you were prone to do even when fully awake. “I need a pen.”

-x-x-x-

“Oh, good morning!” You startled a little. You’d literally just opened the front door to your room— and there was someone waiting there already.

“Oh, uh, good morning?”

“Sorry, did I startle you?” Nevermind seemed legitimately apologetic, not that you were one to generally doubt someone’s word, as she bowed to half-waist before you. “I suppose not everyone is fully awake by the time they leave their cabins.”

“Ah, no, it’s alright, Nevermind.” You fumbled to compose yourself, cursing a little as you tried to recall exactly how asleep you’d been in your morning routine. How well had you brushed your hair… not that you could probably complete it at a princess’ standards fully away. “I’m pretty easily started at any time, to be completely honest.”

“A little alertness never hurt anyone.” Your classmate giggled, and you were glad she took it as such. “My self-defence instructor would advise me to be a little more wary, as always, I suspect. And Sonia is fine.”

“Sonia it is, then.” A soft smile was your reward for your adherence, and you couldn’t help the returning grin. A bonus to the motion was that the sunlight, slowly rising up over the central island, was cut off by your cheeks as they pushed your eyelids shut. “I initially would have thought a princess could afford to rise later— but I suppose those in charge always have a far busier schedule than one first assumes.”

“Most certainly.” Sonia adopted a serious pose at your words, and the shade her arm cast as it closed into a determined raised fist gave you another brief glimpse of relief from the morning’s beams. “One must never rest, for the citizen’s always require the best from you. Their existence never ceases, and you must only rest when necessarily— but take note to always do so, too. For an ill ruler is an ill nation.”

Her words sounded mechanical, almost as if they were direct quotes she’d learned off by heart.

It made you wonder how many times she’d heard them, to know them so well as to perfectly quote them in another language. How many languages did she know them in— you suspected they were engraved in her heart, for her to live by them so well.

“I admire your dedication.” Settling on your words had never been an easy task, but these seemed almost as natural as— well. Almost as natural as your conversation with Nagito; and, in realising the minute difference, it made your comfort with him even more bittersweet. Uneasily comforting. “I have no doubt your citizens appreciate it as well.”

“I hope so,” That seemed to be a slightly sore point, as Sonia took your shade away to fold her hands together at lap height. Her blue eyes dimmed a little, a flash of doubt unsuited to the Ultimate Princess, though they lit up again quickly enough; perhaps all Ultimates had doubt. It was a comforting thought, that those who worked for it felt a little doubt. Like those who had acquired their title on talent alone…

You really wished Hope’s Peak differentiated between Ultimate Talents and Ultimate Skils… you would say ‘better’, but ‘at all’ was a much better phrase.

“They gave their blessing for me to attend Hope’s Peak,” Sonia seemed oblivious to your train of thought as she continued. “I have faith they will wait for me, and they have faith that I shall try my best while I’m here!”

“And you will.” You reassured. Sonia’s smile seemed to brighten further at your words. “You’re already doing so well.”

“Not that there is much to do, here.” Sonia tilted her head in consideration, but you did your best to derail the thoughts before they came to the ‘besides’.

“Just taking the situation in stride, and being willing to work with us all, instead of letting the doubt seep in— well,” you bulldozed the despair over, doing your best not to let it creep into your own mind. “I’d say that’s doing your best to the fullest.”

“On that, I must agree.” A new voice startled another soft squeak out of you, and with the shadow Byakuya cast it was more of a shock to your re-awakening system that you _hadn’t_ seen him coming. With the sun behind him, Byukuya’s features were hard to make out, but you had no doubt his usual snarky frown was adorning his face. “With our current situation, it is the best anyone can expect of a common person to retain faith in their companions. To do so without freaking out yourself and loosing sight of your goals for education; it is a notable achievement.”

“And coming from an Ultimate Heir, that’s high praise.” You practically leapt to agree with Byukuya, earning you a vaguely disdainful look from the boy himself. Sonia, though, seemed to have straightened up under the combined praise.

“Thank you both, your words hold a lot of weight.” Sonia giggled along side you, before clapping her hands together. “Right, this is no time for dilly dallying— it’s early morning, and breakfast calls.”

“Yes, about that.” Byukuya spoke again, this time with a single hand raising to push his glasses back. The sun that leaked through the gap in his folded arm went over your head, but the sun from where his arm _had_ been caught you right in the face. Sensing your wince, and in a surprising show of consideration, Byakuya dropped his arm again.

Or maybe it was just tiring to hold it up that long…?

“I want you two do so something for me."


	8. Beholding Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today, we contemplate complicated conditions and complex characterisations over coffee.

The coffee before you was still steaming hot by the time the morning’s gathering had dispersed. Though that had more to do with the fact that it was your second mug for the morning than the actual time the impromptu meeting took. In fact, with the number of times your fellow Ultimates derailed the conversation, you were a little surprised that it wasn’t lunch time already.

Strange thought patterns aside (especially since you were the last person to judge for such), you found Byakuya’s approach to Monokuma’s rules surprisingly… diplomatic for an Ultimate Heir. It wasn’t his wording or attitude that threw you for a loop— no, his mannerisms were exactly what you’d expected from someone of his birthright.

Rather, it was Byakuya’s response— his actions— that drew your curiousity.

For one used to standing above the world, unthreatened and unconcerned with the actions of others outside of his command, Byukuya had taken a surprising amount of time to evaluate your classmate’s emotional and logical responses to the class’s new task. From Akane and Nekomaru’s completely blasé evaluation to Nagito’s more optimistically tactical assumptions; Byakuya had maintained an uncaring facade, but you found the fact that he paused and actually _waited_ for their opinions.

Well, it spoke loudly to you.

What it was shouting at you, whatever his actions were screaming in your ears, you weren’t quite sure. It just— you supposed you were caught up on it because, well, it was a reassuring sign. A reassuring sign that someone of his influence was minding the situation with a positive but controlling standpoint.

Whatever it was saying, you decided, was irrelevant; because what you heard was comforting, no matter the words.

You’d take comfort where you could get it, at the moment.

As if hearing your thoughts, Nagito slide into the seat opposite you. His smile seemed a little forced, much like it had been during the conversation beforehand, but the tension was slowly leaking out of his shoulders as he settled before you.

Slowly.

“Hey,” You nudged his leg with your foot, gently drawing his attention towards you. Away from the rest of the room. “You did good, in there.”

“Ah, thank you.” Nagito seemed surprised at the compliment, but his words quickly twisted back to his usual tune. “I only did my best, I’m sure you could have—“

“You did good.” You cut him off, with a boast of confidence that quickly dimmed a millisecond later. “Sorry, I didn’t mean too—“

“It’s fine.” Nagito seemed to catch what you meant, smiling a little more naturally even after your rude interruption. “I— thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Both of you laughed, then, before sighing and slumping back into your chairs a little further.

Quietly, you brought your drink up to your lips to sip at the slowly cooling liquid. Saionji and Koizumi were talking amicably in the corner, and they weren’t exactly the pair you would have pegged as immediate friends. Then again, you mused, you wouldn’t have considered anyone a natural friend for Saionji, so perhaps you were just biased in that respect. Meanwhile, closer to the stairwell, Nekomaru seemed to giving words of lecture— words that were flying in one of Akane’s ears and out the other as she scarfed down the massive amount of food she’d piled up on the creaking wooden table.

“Seriously, though,” You broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over the pair of you. “You did amazing back there, mediating between everyone.”

“I think you’re the only one who thinks that,” you took note of how Nagito avoided saying he, himself, disagreed with you. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I got called lame at least twice during that conversation.”

“If we all took everything Saionji said to heart, we’d all have killed _ourselves_ by now.” As soon as the words had left your mouth, you felt the incredible urge to slap yourself across the face. Not only was that rude to Saionji, but dark humour might not be the best way to approach your current situation. Judging by Nagito’s laugh, though, your partner didn’t seem to mind the depressing joke.

Actually, you’re not sure why that surprised you; fatalistic humour would totally be Nagito’s jam.

If only because you found it so amusing, too.

“Now you _are_ being unkind.” Nagito’s smirk softened his reprimanding words, but you apologised anyway. Smiling, though; no need for him to worry about misinterpretation. “After all, the same could be said for several of our classmates.”

And now you were both laughing again.

“So what do you think you’ll do for the rest of today?” Once the snickers had died down, with the help of some weird looks from the other residents of the dinning room, you decided to shift the topic to something slightly more hopeful prospect. “Any plans?”

“Well, if we put the pondering of answers to Byukuya’s questions away, alongside our own,” Nagito mused aloud. “I suppose… I would like to watch the waves a bit more.”

That wasn’t an answer you’d been expecting, but— as was apparently the new normal around Nagito— you found yourself unsurprised by his words nonetheless.

He was right to put the investigation aside; actively seeking answers in this situation felt more like pointless stress than anything else. In an unfamiliar environment, scoring your surroundings for clues was like looking for a pink needle in a stack of red needles. While not an entirely fruitless endeavour, it would be far more beneficial to find out the different uses for the red needles first— when they all began to look familiar, then the strange pink needle of unknown use would be far easier to identify.

But still—

“Watching the waves does sound rather soothing.” You supposed, suppressing a shiver at the idea of sand-thriving bugs. Recalling the soft lapping of the water, though— it was rather calming. You’d rather be in the water, though, then out on the beach. “The ebb and flow of nature is often a good source of serenity. “

“Very.” Nagito seemed pleased by your insightfulness. In turn, you found the calm light in his eyes and the soft curve of his smile a source of pleasure of your own. “It’s a good reminder of balance, too— what comes must go, and what leaves will bring something back in return.”

“I can understand that.” You nodded, and floundered for a bit as you tried to bring up comparisons. “Like black and white, or light and darkness, or hope and despair— winning and loosing, too, I’m pretty sure.“

“Exactly!” You internally high-fived yourself; you’d got it first try! Nagito’s grin seemed to split his jaw in two— a toothy smile you’d yet to see him crack before. “Lucky and unlucky, too.”

“Oh shit, you’re right.” Your mouth slipped open a little as the final piece slid into place. “And you’re the Ultimate Luck— no wonder you find the reminder calming. Especially now.”

“Precisely.” You felt a foot nudge your own, and Nagito didn’t seem to realise he’d wrapped his calf around yours until a minute later. You hadn’t quite noticed, either; the feeling so familiar it took a backseat in your mind to the snickers passing between Saionji and Koizumi.

When it did register, it still didn’t feel awkward; to either of you, if Nagito’s continued contact was any sign.

“Just be careful not to get a sunburn, okay?” 


	9. Building Besties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader needs some friends, both for me to provide perspective summaries and also, well, for ~mental health benefits~ lol. So, what's gonna happen (at least at the start), is I'm going to try and use 'free time' slots in the game (or large time gaps in the game) for world building-- either with reader's relationships with others, or for 'sessions' with Hajime to build reader's past. 
> 
> Feel free to give me feedback/preferences on those things, btw! 
> 
> Also, sorry about the lateness???? IDK my update schedule is a non-schedule; soz y'all.

Though you’d happily waved Nagito goodbye as he’d left the hotel grounds for the nearby beach, with his comfortable presence now jarringly absent…

You felt lost.

It hadn’t taken long for the conversation between Saionji and Koizumi to wear away the last of your courage. Refilling your mug for what would be the last time that morning (or, at least, you promised yourself it would be; three times over) you took your leave from the restaurant, taking the stairs three at a time as soft snickers bit at your ankles.

A voice that sounded suspiciously like your therapist’s reminded you calmly that it was highly unlikely you were the subject of their conversation; logically, you knew that too. The sharp nails of fear still dug tight into your chest, however, and breathing only became easy once you’d turned the corner to hide out of view of the upper deck’s balcony.

It was a miracle you hadn’t spilt your coffee, with the way your hands were shaking. Taking a sip, the warm liquid threaded the familiar scent through your chest with a calming needle.

You’d never spilt a reassuring cup of coffee before; your own liquid luck, or liquid courage, or whatever the saying was.

The point remained the same; thinking was now possible again.

The morning continued on, the sun arched high in the sky despite the chaos lurking on the island below, and you still had to find a way to spend the next few hours until night fell once more. Or, at least, until someone else found a massive clue and called the group together again. Either way, you had time to kill…

Your anxious heart sped up once more, and you brought your hot drink closer to your chest, begging the warm ceramic to work its magic.

‘ _Well, that was a bad analogy for the moment._ ’ You scolded yourself once your finger stopped tingling. The fear hadn’t gone away as well, this time, and you felt your meek fear whisper for you to join Nagito on the beach. Your skin crawled, though, at the idea of sand, and the therapist in your mind chided you away from the idea as well.

You should probably use this time get to know some of your other classmates. You know, the ones who weren’t Nagito?

But… the thought of _approaching_ anyone felt as daunting as the idea of sitting on sand. Almost worse, actually—

“Hey, hey, hey! You— yeah, you!” You startled as a loud voice shouted at you… from right beside you. “Cutey McCuterson with the cute face!”

“I— um, I— hi, Moida?” Your voice was embarrassingly high pitched as you struggled to recover from your shock, but Moida didn’t seem to care as she laughed amicably beside you.

Loudly.

“D’aw, don’t be so stiff with Ibuki— you can call Ibuki Ibuki, no need to sweat it!” Moi— Ibuki was a very animated speaker, you found. It made you a little dizzy to see her shifting so much in your peripheral as you checked to see if you’d spilt any of your coffee. Her constant moving, however, meant your inability to meet her eyes was… surprisingly acceptable; not a problem at all.

“I— okay, thank you, Ibuki.” Smiling, you watched as the hair-made horns bounced around before you, and re-introduced yourself in turn. The horns had a beautiful shine in the sunlight, especially when they caught a beam just right; usually when she had her head tilted to her right. “Was there something I could help you with?”

“Well, see, Ibuki just finished a _huge_ breakfast,” Ibuki began to regale excitedly. “And after talking with Hiyoko and Mahiru about what they were planning to do for the next few hours, Ibuki decided to come down to test out the acoustics of the bridge— like, whapam! What if bridge acoustics are like bathroom acoustics— Ibuki’s never tested them out before, so she figured she’d give it a try!”

The words were beginning to mash together in your brain, and you felt your vision hazing over slightly as you concentration began to slip.

“But **then** —“ You startled at the sudden raise in volume with the emphasis, attention snapping right back to Ibuki’s rambling speech. “—Ibuki saw you standing here, all folded in on yourself, and Ibuki _had_ to ask if you’d join her, because you looked so lonely, y’know?”

You blushed a little, shoulders hunching upwards slightly, under the accusation, but Ibuki carried on as if you hadn’t moved at all. Perhaps, with the way the Ultimate Musician was bobbing back and forth herself, she couldn’t actually see if you did move.

“Also! Ibuki lied a little; Hiyoko and Mahiru thought you were going to the beach with Nagito, but then Nagito left without you, and then you left on your own, and they were worried!” Ibuki grinned, as if the confession weighed nothing to her.

You were a little dumbfounded, though; they… had been worried about you? Why?

“So!!!” Ibuki seemed to, finally, be coming to a close on her explanation… or was it an answer?

You couldn’t remember if you’d actually asked a question, or if Ibuki had just burst out into a rant unprompted. There was, admittedly, too much new information being given to you at once for you to _quite_ remember everything that had just happened.

“Ibuki figured she’d come out and see if you were okay on her way to the bridge, and then she saw you here all sad, and Ibuki is now wondering if you’d like to join Ibuki on the bridge? Ibuki hasn’t heard you use a big voice yet, but Ibuki thinks being alone on a bridge would be a good chance to test it. Ibuki will be there too, of course, but other than you and Ibuki, you’d be alone to sing! Ibuki won’t judge— Ibuki could even help, if you want! You could try singing, and she could try advising!” Ibuki seemed, finally, to be running out of things to say as she scrambled for possible activities you could both do together.

“That sounds nice, Ibuki.” You decided to step up and reassure her. Sure, you questioned the validity of Saionji’s and Koizumi’s concern, but Ibuki— well, perhaps you were misinterpreting her character, but she seemed straightforward enough. “I’d be happy to join you on the bridge.”

“Aw yiss, score one for the Ibuk-ster!” You couldn’t help but laugh alongside the musician as she jumped up and pumped her fists into the air. “Now, the quest to destroy your loner tendencies _really_ begins!”

Chuckling nervously, you decided not to rebuke the necessity of that particular goal. Any positive outlook was a good one, at least in the situation you were all in. Instead, you let the outgoing girl continue with her tangent-free babbling while you guided her around the small obstacles that appeared on the journey to the bridge.

Relief from your task, as signalled by the creaking wooden boards that paved the bridge, brought about more than just a halt to Ibuki’s waterfall of words. As her tone twisted to a series of, admittedly _screamed_ , melodies, your mind made it’s way back towards the musings that had formed the foundations of last nights pondering.

You had to admit that, perhaps, you were being rather hypocritical when you advised Nagito to leave the questions alone until you had more information.

Sure, your own curiousity was easily silenced. When Byukuya called the group to gather, when stress built between Nagito’s brows, when Ibuki babbled as mindlessly as she wondered; yes, it was easy enough for you to put other’s before your own wants and needs. But when no one needed you, when no one wanted you— when even your desperate need to help other’s could find other to bring action to your idle mind…

Then you couldn’t help but wonder—

“So, what’s up with you and Mr Tall and Lanky, anywho?” Ibuki fell back into a position that looked super comfortable and awkward all at once. You blinked down at her, contemplating the pose, and whether you should attempt to mimic it. With her legs still hung over the side, from where she’d been sitting on raised edge of the bridge, but with her back stretched out across the planked floorboards below, Ibuki looked decidedly relaxed as she eyed you up. You must have looked very weird, being upside down and all. “Y’know, white hair bomb and grassy eyes, the one that went into your room last night?”

“Wha—“ Your face began to heat up; the others had seen that? A second later, you wanted to slap yourself for the doubt; of course they had. Seventeen high school students, stranded together on one and a half islands? Of course gossip ran rampant. With a high pitched noise of embarrassment, you covered your face with your hands. “Good grief…”

“AHAHAHAHA!” Ibuki sputtered with laughter at a volume that would have made you temporarily deaf, had you not just spent time listening to her sing. “Ibuki’s sorry if she’s made you uncomfortable, but Ibuki also really wants to know, so she’s not sorry for asking.”

“Ah, no, it’s okay.” You scrambled to reassure her, waving your hand in a placating manner. “Curiousity’s normal, after all, and there’s no harm in asking.”

“Ibuki knows this,” Ibuki grinned, rolling to the side and sliding forward until she was on her stomach facing you. Her arms propped up on her elbows, to support her chin, you couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across you face as mismatched stockings waved around in a childish manner. “But Ibuki _doesn’t_ know the answer to her question— what’s up with that? Are you two a—“

Ibuki made a weird motion with her fingers. You’d seen people do similar in movies, but… you’d never understood what it meant? Like, you know what they were asking after people kept giving the same type of answer, but the actual motion itself? What it was meant to represent?

You had no clue.

“Heyo, any cutie home?” Ibuki’s call broke you out of your minor moment of fixation. “Silence is decidedly Not an answer to Ibuki’s question, y’know? Not that she’d mind if you chose not to answer, but silence is not a not answer; it’s a not not answer!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Thankfully Ibuki didn’t seem offended by your distraction, just dissatisfied, if the grin on her face was any indication. You only caught a glimpse of it when you dared to glance up as you ducked your head down to rub the back of your neck. “It’s… hard to explain?”

“Ibuki can wait.” Ibuki grinned up at you, waggling her upper body, now, in anticipation. “Not long, but Ibuki can wait— words are hard; Ibuki has a hard time pinning her lyrics down, but once you get it perfect, it’s perfect, and it’s better than it would have been, y’know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You nodded in agreement. You were only half paying attention, though, as possible explanations circled around your mind. To be honest, they all sounded stupid to your ears— or, at least, the ones you though Ibuki might get. But then…

“I guess, it feels kinda like we’re soulmates?” Ibuki made a noise at this, but it didn’t sound as incredulous, or as dismissive, as you’d feared. “Like, it’s kind of like the whole island thing, really— we’re missing answers, but being around him… it feels _right_ , y’know?”

“Ibuki wonders if everyone on the island has the same feeling about someone?” You did a double take at the musician’s words— there was a weight of understanding there that added an unusually serious lilt to Ibuki’s response. “Ibuki can’t say that she feels anything as strong as anyone else— Ibuki is pretty sure she’s more impulsive than you or McLanky— but… Ibuki feels like she understands the notion very well.”

There was a distracted glaze to her eyes, and her head tilted until the central island was in sight. You bite down your impulsive question, and let the unusual silence just… exist.

The answers would come to you all, sooner or later.

The malicious doubt in your mind whispered that it would all be _too_ late.


	10. Restless Remembrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, but no less significant.

Tremors sent shivers down your spine. Your muscles seized, over and over and _over_ , and breathing was a laborious chore; each gasp clawing its way up your through, only to scream as your heaving lungs drew it back down again. It’s claws clung to your asophugos, and it took everything you had not to _scream_ , because that would only make the hurt more. Stronger. Harder.

Faster.

Instead, all you could do was weep, struggle against the sobs that flung your chest around with their melancholic tantrum.

“Please!” You sounded like a broken record to your mind, repeating the words you couldn’t remember ever saying before. “Stay with me, please!”

The chaos of the city as its callous existence ceased its continuity escaped you. The blood and the screams of those capable of such actions— meaningless. Trivial in their pursuit; their struggle was futile. Perhaps, only in that aspect, they were you.

No, they weren’t.

Because what walked away from them was the devil. But that which continued to flutter out of your reach— that was an angel. Who loved you in a cold, clinical manner— for your joke of a talent, and for your persistent battle against inevitability.

Nothing more.

“They’re leaving, they always leave!” Salty tears mixed with the blood on your face, and the pink liquid seeped up towards your eye lids, defying gravity so easily. You wished to do the same; you always had. “I won’t— I’ll never leave you. Please, won’t you stay with me this time? Please!”

“I can’t be a useful sacrifice here.” His words were cold, calculating, and exactly what you’d expected. Exactly what you’d heard before. “Our work here is done, and we’ve got a game to play.”

“But I don’t want to play a game!” This line was new but, then again, this line always was; a mockery of control, a faux hope towards a change in program. “I just want to be with you, I want to be with you always!”

“Come on, then.” Nagito smiled down at you, not taking a single step towards you as he stretched a finely manicured hand out towards you. “We have a boat to catch. An island retreat together, what could be more fun?”

You accepted his guidance; you always had.

You always would.

-x-x-x-

“No!” The sheets felt sticky as they yanked you back towards the mattress, and the reverberating ‘thump’ as your head restock the mattress did little to aid your sleepy confusion. You were warm, too warm, and the heat of the afternoon sun was as disorienting as it’s light— both sensations blinding you, overwhelming you. You were barely conscious of the continuous chanting of ‘no’ spilling from your lips, to focused on attempting to control your fumbling arm as you searched the bed for your favourite teddy bear.

She— she wasn’t here?

Where was here?

You couldn’t seem to detach yourself from covers, the heavy fabric having been tossed around into a random arrangement during your restless sleep. You couldn’t find her— he’d left you. She’d left you; you were alone! You didn’t want to be alone—

“Hey, hey.” The voice felt weird. It sounded distorted, like it was resonating down at you from behind a wind-filled chamber. When you startled, a hand brushed against your arm, as if it had been hovering above you hesitantly. You flinched back from the contact with a whimper. “Calm down; you’re okay. You’re safe.”

The hand rested on your arm again, but it was slow in its approach. It was only when you didn’t flinch back from it’s appearance, when you had a moment to realise it wasn’t going to hurt you (wasn’t going to leave you, too), that the rest of the body attached to it wrapped itself around you.

Leaning back against the soothingly rumbling chest, you slowly calmed down enough to realise the world around you.

When you peered up at the face hovering above you, you realised it was Nagito who was rocking you back and forth in a soothing manner. Really, you should have known already— there had been no extra anxiety involved when he’d reached out to calm you down.

“Sorry.” If you weren’t already crying, you might have started out of sheer embarrassment. Not only had you fallen asleep for a mid-afternoon nap— something that was always a bad idea in regards to nightmares. But now you were smelly and damp as well, from the sweat you’d worked up as you’d thrashed yourself awake.

“Don’t worry about me— I should have gotten here soon and woken you up before now.” Nagito reprimanded himself with a self-depreciating smile.

“Mm, I always get nightmares at this time, though.” You tried to twist his comment back around, though you were sure your half-asleep blundering wasn’t subtle at all. “Just… thank you for being here to calm me down.”

Nagito didn’t form a proper reply, instead settling for a hum of agreement. You suspected that was more out of consideration, than out of a lack of an argument, though. The quietness was appreciated, because it let your mind focus on the reality of here and now.

Like how, even through your own layers of sweat, you could smell the brisk tang of sea salt clinging to Nagito’s coat as it wrapped around you. Burrowing closer into his grip, you could feel the warmth of his chest as you pressed your nose closer, and with your ear pressed so close to his thin shirt…

Your mind could count each beat of his heart.

Nagito didn’t seem to mind the way you were snuggling up to him. In fact, as you pulled yourself further into his lap, his legs rose a little to join his arms in pulling you even closer. The folds of his jacket draped over your head, almost blocking the rest of the world out of view as you both relished in the comfort the other provided.

Not wanting to let him go just yet, you decided to ask Nagito about how his morning had gone. Nagito also seemed rather content to stay where he was, as he recounted his morning meeting with Hajime without a hint of hesitation.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to check out [my tumblr](https://selfinsertingismyselfcare.tumblr.com/), too, if you're interested~


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